Chain Mail

I went to my inbox again today. One item of mail caught my eye. It had been forwarded by a friend. I had warned this friend in the past about forwarding chain mail but obviously I wasn't listened to. The reason I hate chain mail is not because of the content, some of it can be quite interesting. What I do hate is the list of email addresses it generates.

If I want to send lots of people my advert, for my latest drug to enlarge my penis or to offer a great mortage deal, I need a list of names. Now I could send it to all my friends and reach about 20-30 people. Not a great way to mass market a product. But what if I could reach hundreds perhaps thousands of people, now that might be worth something. But how does one get the email addresses of all those people. I could go through forums and look for individual addresses, I could ask people to give me their address. This takes up my time. What if the email addresses came to me.

Well they can come to you. All it takes is a chain mail. If I send one out and tell the reader to send it to 10 more people very rapidly a huge list of names can be created.
I may not ever get that email returned to me but I only had to do one email, its not taken up much time so i'm not bothered. I can easily write another email and hope for better luck with that. I might be lucky enough to get a chain mail out of the blue from a random person. This mail might already contain 100 or so addresses. I now have potential customers to which I can send my advert.

My 100 customers arent buying much from me so I go to the pub. At the pub I see Boris. Boris is also employing the same chain mail stategey to sell his organic vodka, his sales are low too. After talking we agree to swap lists. Now my list of potential customers has doubled. I swap my list with a few other people in the online marketing business. Soon I have a huge list of potential customers, great for business.

But by now the customer is getting lots of email from other people. You see Boris and the other people who I swapped my list with are targeting my customer with their offers. But my offer is getting lost amongst the others. So I will send more emails to each customer.

The customers inbox then get so clogged up with rubbish its hard to find any propper mail in it. All that chain mail has succeeded in doing is to get more spam in your inbox. If you want that then fine, but I don't.

If you recieve a chain mail don't pass it on. Just delete it like all the other spam, thats all it is.

9 Replies to “Chain Mail”

  1. I never get any chain mail, does that make me unpopular, lucky, or both? Don’t answer that one anthony, your sarcastic manner will depress me even more than i am now 🙁

  2. Thats got to piss you off tunk.
    It annoys me too when cunts send me chain letters, i mean, what purpose do they think they serve? they arent interesting in the slightest, they are fucking annoying

    “Send this to 20 people or you will die before you goto sleep tonight”

    Yeeeaaahhhh…. course i will… shit..

    is there no way we can create our own tunk, only with some nasty virus that is activated by the person pressing the “forward” button?

    Probably not, but we should work on one.

  3. Ok tunk it was me obviously. But hey i dnt care. But why keep 429 peoples email addresses quite sad i think.

  4. She’s got a point Tunk, you’re even below people who collect stamps. And train spotters 🙁

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